amanda’s blog

'Twas the night before Christmas... How are you spending this Christmas Eve? Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions you're excited about?

Traditions are a funny thing, and around this time of year I guess traditions are more apparent to me than the rest of the year. Growing up, my family did the exact same thing every Christmas, and I loved it. My Grandma's house always had the same decorations and ornaments in the same places, almost like there was a blue print of where everything should go. On Christmas Eve, us kids would get a new set of pajamas, my mom would braid my long hair and we would get ready for an evening filled with so many flashes of the camera, it rivaled a red carpet arrival in Hollywood. The camera would document us hanging our stockings, my Uncle reading us The Night Before Christmas and us opening the one present we'd get to open early. Even as we grew into our teenage years, we begrudgingly went through the motions.

After my Grandma passed away, it was a little different, but we still all gathered at her house, and still did the traditional Christmas Eve events. I think the next year, my Uncle said the Night Before Christmas book was going on hiatus until he had grandchildren to read it to. And by the following Christmas, I had lost my mom too. Suffice it to say, I was not in the mood to celebrate Christmas. We transplanted the traditional location of my Grandma's house, which by this time was on the market, to my Aunt and Uncle's house in San Diego. Fast forward to this year... it's been six years since my mom died, while I miss her a little bit more around the holidays, it gets a bit easier every year. And while I'm sure her not being here has something to do with my change of heart in terms of our Holiday traditions, that can't be the sole reason... i'm over it.

My oldest cousin is now married with kids of his own. But my Aunt still desperately tries to force us into the same Christmas Eve traditions. If she had it her way, I'd be up there hanging a stocking to this day. So this year, I decided to opt out. I didn't go to San Diego until Christmas day, instead I had a great evening at one of my best friend's mom's house. They had a house FULL of people and tons of food. We sat around and talked and it was a really nice time. Meanwhile, my Aunt was waiting around until 10:30pm for my cousin and his family to get back from an evening out with his in-laws, to insist on continuing the Christmas Eve traditions with her grandchildren, which it doesn't even seem like anyone wants to still do.

I guess my point, if there is one, is to say that sometimes traditions are great and can bring about happiness and fondly remind us of years gone past. But in some instances, traditions need to be amended, tweaked or just ended and new ones started. I think forcing traditions in to perpetuity is defeating the purpose of the "holiday season" which is to be happy and spread happiness.

Just got home from having dinner with one of my best friends, Randi. Dinner wasn't anything spectacular, just some margaritas and tacos at Chevy's, but I did enjoy our evening... and it made me think of something to finally write about! And I ask now for forgiveness for the forthcoming sappiness... the importance of having good friends in life.

When we are born into a family, we are sort of dealt a hand, some people get dealt a full house and others get a sorta shitty hand. I consider my hand was somewhere in between. And to those of you who have been lucky enough to have been dealt a full house, I am truly happy for you. But for those of you who were not dealt such a good hand, or like me, over the years have lost some of the most important members of your family, I can't imagine life without good friends. Yes, I have an aunt and uncle and a couple cousins in SD. I do appreciate them, but for the most part they don't know me. They are not a part of my daily life, don't know about my job, my personal life, understand my goals or what I like to do. But I do have a handful of very close wonderful friends, who I do not know what I would do without. Friends that I share everything with, can laugh with, cry with if necessary and most importantly know that I can count on if I ever need anything. These friends are those I consider "family".

So I guess I'm saying that even if you are dealt the shittiest of hands, or happen to loose some of your cards along the way, be selective and open to picking up some new cards to fill out your hand. I know that I now have a great hand, and it's because of my friends like Randi.

So I created this vox account quite a few months ago, and have in no uncertain terms, abandoned it. I don't know why, I guess because I'm lazy and haven't made time for it. But today is a new day. I'm going to make an effort to start posting on a regular basis. I mean, I love to write, so I should do what I love!

Stay tuned...

What fictional character do you relate to most and why?

TylerDurden

Tyler Durden... I mean, I'm not beating people into a bloody pulp, or planning world-wide mayhem in the dark hours of the night... but I definitely can relate to the deliriousness that accompanies chronic insomnia. One of my favorite quotes from the movie... "When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake".